Byron Kate suffered from depression for many years. When she was at her most desperate, she had a series of revelations that inspired her to overcome it. She went from suicidal thoughts to a freedom of love and joy for all that was happening. Her work, which can be summarised as "The work", is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It is a way to find peace with yourself and the world.
In this post I summarise some of the main ideas of her work. You can download for free a copy of her introductory little book on her website. I hope these ideas are as useful to you as they have been for me and that you can apply them to any conflict you currently have in any area of your life.
Byron Katie realised that the more she believed her thoughts the more she suffered, and when she didn't she didn't suffer. She realised that what had caused her depression was not what had actually happened in her life, but her own thoughts about what she believed had happened.
We suffer when we create a thought that is not in accord with what is. When the mind is clear, what is is what we want. Wanting reality to be different from what it is is like trying to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try again and again and it will eventually say "Meow" .Giving up wanting to change reality to change our way of thinking and enjoying reality as it is, allows us to experience unparalleled freedom and joy.
And yet, you must realise that you have thoughts of these, dozens of times a day. People should be nicer, children should behave, my husband..., my mother... .... All of our stress comes from wanting things to be different.
It may seem that we lose our power if we accept reality, it may even seem that we may lose the desire to act. "The work" tells us that what you think should not have happened, really should have happened, because it did. Is there any point in arguing with what has already happened? Will you be able to change it?
Another interesting aspect that speaks to us in "The work" is that we can find three types of affairs in the universe: my own affairs, the affairs of others, and the affairs of GOD. Everything that is beyond my control, and anyone else's, is GOD's business (earthquakes, wars, floods, etc.).
When I suffer it is probably because I live outside of my own affairs. When I meddle in other's affairs, I am not present in my own. To think that I know what is best for anyone else, is to be out of my own affairs. Do I know what is right for me? I live apart from myself and wonder why my life is not working.
If you understand the three types of issues well enough to take care of your own, it can free up your life in ways you can't even imagine.
Thoughts are harmless waves, the problem is our attachment to them. Attachment to a thought means believing it to be true without querying it. Most people believe they are what their thoughts say they are. By believing them we give rise to suffering. Thoughts are like the breeze, or raindrops. They just appear, they are not personal. Would you argue with a raindrop? Our job is to receive them with love and understanding, to love what is.
When you work on yourself personally, you can see who you are by seeing who you think the other person is. Since the beginning of history people have tried to change the world in order to make it happy. This has never worked because it approaches the problem backwards. "The work" tries to change the projector instead of the projected. We think there is an imperfection in the screen, and we try to change the scenes, the projected images, but it is useless. Once we realise where the speck of dust is, it allows us to be able to eradicate the suffering and put some bliss in our lifes and create our own paradise.
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